StoryRhyme After Dark: Night of the Monster

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Night of the Monster
By Harry Buschman


“Igor, IGOR –– where are you Igor!? Where is that no-good hunch back when I need him?”

The Professor looked everywhere… Under the tables, in the fume hood, even in the biological waste disposal bin –– no Igor. In exasperation his wild feverish eyes caught a movement above him.

“Hanging from the ceiling again –– hah! I‘ve caught you, you ugly misshapen dwarf! Come down from there immediately.”

“Yes Master.” Igor meekly dropped to the floor and stood crookedly before Professor Finkelstein. “Do not beat me, Master. I was gathering strength for the transformation.”

“Where is the brain, Igor? This is the night! The night of nights –– look at that storm outside! I must install the brain immediately. When that lightning strikes we must be ready.”

“It is in that bottle on the end of the bench, Master –– the small bottle, not the big one.”

The Professor picked up the small bottle at the end of the bench and looked at the brain inside. “It’s a very small brain, Igor.”

“The smallest I could find, Master.”

“I see your point, Igor. You sometimes show a great deal of common sense for a dwarf who hangs like a bat from the ceiling.” Igor was aware that the next monster would be a politician, and certainly a large brain, one capable of wisdom and conscious thinking would be a handicap.

The storm was growing in intensity and lightning flickered ominously as the Professor settled the brain neatly in the empty cranium of what would soon be the next candidate for President of the United States.

“A lot of empty space in there, Igor,” the Professor noted.

“Stuff it with straw, Master.”

“Good thinking, Igor.”

The empty space in the cranium was stuffed to fill the void in the politician’s head and the ceiling panels were pulled back to expose him to the storm. The rain beat down on the laboratory equipment and soon Igor, the Professor and the politician-monster were soaked through to the skin. Finally a bolt of lightning flashed blindingly through the open roof and struck the monster between the eyes. It was followed immediately by thundering crash and the monster sat up.

“It’s alive! It’s alive!” shouted the Professor.

“...and fully charged,” said Igor.

“Uffa guffa, bulla gullova, stay the course, mission accomplished, down with the democrats...” droned the monster politician.

“I think he’s ready, Igor. Turn him loose in the countryside so he can announce his candidacy.”

(c) 2011 Harry Buschman


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