StoryRhyme After Dark: From Princess to Queen

“A ‘Thanksgiving’ tale...” -- Harry

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From Princess to Queen
By Harry Buschman

It was difficult enough for a Princess to find a suitable Prince in the old days, even under the best of conditions. But Princess Rapunzel was the daughter of the reclusive King Dodo of Boondocks, and for her it was well-nigh impossible.

Princess Rapunzel was very lonely in King Dodo’s castle. She sat around watching television and writing in her blog and all the time she prayed some dark handsome stranger, (preferably one of royal blood) would scale the walls of her father’s remote castle and carry her away. As she grew older she lowered her standards a little and would have settled for someone less athletic and romantic. Sitting alone in the tower of her father’s castle she remained remote, chaste and inviolate.

Occasionally a visitor would appear on state business, sometimes there would be delegations... Treaties to sign and such; after all, kingdoms do not exist in a vacuum. At such times Princess Rapunzel would come tripping through the assembled dignitaries and innocently ask, “Did someone call me?” or “Dear me, did I leave my sewing basket in here? Oh, sorry father... I didn’t know you had guests.”

When it became apparent that no one had called her and that Princess Rapunzel wouldn’t know what do do with a sewing basket if she had one, she would retire to her bedroom and turn on the TV or write a couplet or two in her blog.

She would look long and critically at her face in the mirror. It wasn’t all bad, she thought. There were no worry lines, no sagging chin and with little to laugh at, there were no laughter lines in the corners of her eyes. She studied her hair. It was very long, black and firmly rooted. When she let it down it stretched clear across the room. What would happen, she wondered, if she let it dangle out of her bedroom window? Perhaps she might catch a passerby... A dark handsome one... One of royal blood perhaps. If he was agile enough he might use her hair to scale the wall, fall in love with her at first sight and carry her off to his kingdom.

So she decided to give it a try...

The first few days were unrewarding, but, on the evening of the fourth day, while writing in her blog, she felt a sudden tug from below, followed by a series of grunts and oaths of an earthy nature. She realized she had hooked onto a live one. She braced herself and waited impatiently for her secret lover to appear.

The head that eventually appeared over the railing of her balcony was that of an elderly man. His face was flushed, and he seemed on the verge of apoplexy. He announced himself as Sweeney Todd a lowly barber with a shop on Fleet Street downtown. The name meant nothing to Princess Rapunzel, who was so desperate for a man she would have accepted someone of even lower stature. He talked her into a new hairdo... “Softer,” he said. “Shoulder length... The Katherine Hepburn look. What’s left over,” he said, “we can stuff a king size mattress.”

The subject of the king sized mattress brought up another point. The barber pointed out that the Princess could be a Queen that very evening if she could arrange an appointment for the barber to shave the King. “A flick of the wrist and you’re a Queen,” he reminded her. It sounded pretty good to Rapunzel. A lot better than watching TV and writing in her blog.

...And they lived happily ever after.

(c) 2010 Harry Buschman


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