StoryRhyme After Dark: The Gargoyle and the Scullery Maid

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The Gargoyle and the Scullery Maid
By Harry Buschman

"The Scullery Maid" painting by Steven Lingham

“Boris! You’re not dressed! You can’t go to the Schatsky’s like that.”

“Why, what’s so special about the Schatsky’s?”

“Sheila Schatsky is President of the Ladies-in-waiting Society that’s all. You want to get ahead, don’t you––you have to play nice with the Schatsky’s... What are you doing with that telephone book?”

“I have to call a plumber. Half the gargoyles on this side of the cathedral belfry are plugged up... Why do we have to go to the Schatsky’s anyway? Why can’t we stay home once in a while?”

“We have to keep up, Boris. I don’t want to have to polish candlesticks all my life.”

“All right, all right––’ll wear my checkered knickers, okay?”

“I haven’t let out the waist band yet.”

“Of course you haven’t, Doris! You’re always up here reading movie magazines! No wonder nothing gets done! You’ve got a stack of movie magazines next to you four feet high.”

“Sheila Shatsky is the president of the Oprah Winfrey book club, she reads all day. They have a library and wall shelves with glass doors. I have to stack my books on the floor.”

“You’ve really got it tough, haven’t you? Don’t forget, Doris, you were nothing but a scullery maid until I took pity on you.”

“You took pity on me! I was the one who took pity on you! If it wasn’t for me you’d still be up in the belfry with rusty rainwater coming out of your nose.”

“Well, let me tell you, Doris, life was a lot simpler then. Nothing to do all day but hang out over the parapets watching the bats fly by.”

“That was then, this is now. We’ve come a long way, Boris. Besides, you want your son to be proud of you, don’t you?”

“My what?”



“Yes. The witch doctor told me this morning.”


“Yes, Boris.”

“You and me? ... you’re?”

“Yes, Boris.”

“Smokin’ nostrils!! Wait’ll I tell the boys!”

“There’s time, Boris -- it takes 12 years you know.”

(c) 2011 Harry Buschman


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